Immortal Adventures: The Adventure Begins
by Toxic Twilight
Summary: Immortal Adventures: The Adventure Beginspart one A teenaged girl gets hit by a bus and begins an awesome adventure where she meets people she dreamed of meeting but didn't before exist sorry for the cheesy summary but oh well, rated T for language
1. Busses and Heads don't Mix

The Beginning

**Chapter 1: The Beginning**

It was a normal day for me at my high school, or as normal as a day can be when you have digital art class twice, both first and last period, you're suffering from lack of caffeine, and your school happens to be in Spryfield. I was on the bus home when suddenly I realized I was supposed to meet my dad at the mall so we could go grocery shopping. Now you might think why would this teenage girl go shopping for groceries of all things, with her father of all people. Well I'll tell you, ever since my mom moved out it's been me and my dad, way out in the boondocks, a.k.a. the village (AN: I wouldn't call it a town, it's too bloody small and fifteen minutes drive to the nearest public bus top) called Ketch Harbor, and we're stuck out there without a car, so we only go grocery shopping once a month. So in order to get some of the food I like, or at least put my opinion in on what we eat I have to go grocery shopping too, not to mention I'm a bit of a daddy's girl, _and_ kinda weird.

"Shit on a stick" I muttered under my breath "now I have to get off the bloody bus." So muttering random Elvish insults to myself I got off the bus and walked to the nearest public bus stop. There I waited for a half an hour for the bus to come, repeatedly calling myself an idiot and earning several weird stares from passers by. Looking up the road and seeing the bus was finally coming so I stepped toward the curb edge, little did I know that there was a slippery spot right where I stepped, and the bus driver is one of those who doesn't stop till the last second; and wouldn't you know it his brakes failed just as I fell in front of the bus. The last thing I thought was 'oh great' before I heard a squishy crunch, and everything went black.

When I awoke I had a splitting headache, well wouldn't you if you just had your head crushed by a bus? In addition there was a white glow resonating from somewhere to my left, which didn't help my headache any, but somehow I managed to haul my carcass to my feet. The glow, as it would seem, came from a door, which I hesitantly approached. "Um hello? Anyone there?" I called '_yes child'_ a voice replied, it wasn't until after I thought 'who the hell?' that I realized the voice came from inside my head (AN: yes, inside my head cue music from the X-files ). Unsure of what to do I proceeded through the door, banging my elbow in the process and muttering "fudge monkeys." _'Language, young one, language'_ it was that voice again, coming from through the door "Yeah, I don't mean to be rude and all, but who the hell are you, and where the bloody fuck am I?" I shot back. _'Come in and find out'_ the misty 'mind-voice' replied "Fine then, I will" said I, and I walked through the door. Little did I know what would then happen would change my life forever.


	2. Into the Light

I've made a few changes to this chapter, because 400 hundred years of schooling would drive anyone nuts. The changes make a bit more sense. I've also noticed that I think my writing in this story is complete and utter crap, so I apologize to anyone else who also thinks so. Not my fault, I have to start somehow, even if it's no good.

**Chapter 2:**

Entering into a bright light, which hurt my eyes, I tripped over a rather inconvenient bench swearing loudly. "Tsk tsk child, what did I tell you about your language?" Looking up from the floor, which I was sprawled rather ungracefully on, I saw the most beautiful women I had ever seen seated on a throne in front of me. "I-I'm s-sorry Arwenamin (1)" I managed to stutter, "It's a bit of a bad habit I have." "So I know young one, so I know" puzzlement must have crossed my features because she added "I've been watching you for some time now Keely, and until now couldn't give you the option of being in my service." Remembering I was still on the floor, I got up, righted the bench and waited, but returned the look of confusion to my face. "Uh I don't mean to be rude but that kind of makes you sound like a stalker." Her laughter was like a clear glass bell ringing throughout the hall we were in. "I take no offence, and I shall explain, please sit down." So I sat, a bit too hard I suppose because a thump could be heard, but I sat all the same "Okies dokies, please continue" I cheerfully exclaimed, so she continued. "Since before you were born I've known you would have the right combination if imagination and courage to be able to do what you were chosen to do, but in order to do so, you had to learn a few things, and..." she paused "you had to die."

This information was a bit too much to wrap my head around, I had to die to be here, so that meant I was dead, but I couldn't die, I was only 16, there was so much I wanted to achieve. Needless to say my thoughts were more than jumbled, they were a mess of chaos and confusion and apparently the shock must have registered on my face because she went on.

"Yes you're dead, but you have been reborn, even now your subconscious is modifying your appearance to a form appropriate for the work I wish you to do." I looked down and guess what, she was right, I had slimmed down considerably and my bone structure had changed somewhat; I even had more muscle on my bones. "Wow um wow" at that moment an idiotic grin appeared on my face "hehe this could be fun" "Now, now" the lady chided "in order to stay like this you do have to work, and in order for you to work for me you have to undergo extensive training." "Extensive, how extensive?" I inquired. "By my estimation, you'll be at it for about 13 years. The rest will come from experience over the following 387 years. 400 years in total" "400 years! You said I was reborn, but how will I live to be that old and still work for you?"

"That much is simple, young one. You are now immortal, incapable of dying for any reason, assuming you will in fact work for me." Once again I was greatly confused, I died, was reborn, am a hell of a lot thinner, and happen to be immortal. All of this within a day, either this is the weirdest dream ever, or somebody really liked me, because aside from the fact that I died, this was all pretty cool.

Apparently the Lady had said something while I was musing because she was looking at me with an expectant look on her face "Um pardon, I missed that, sorries" I said with an apologetic look "could you repeat it please?" "I said, would you like to see your new home?" thinking for a moment I nodded "Yes please, if it's not too much trouble, umm where will I be living?" Sighing exasperatedly she repeated that as well "You'll be living in a house on a planet you'll have all to yourself, you'll be happy to know it's a big house so you can make yourself some company." At the "make yourself some company" comment I took a double take "Make myself some company, huh?" With another exasperated sigh she said "that much and more will be explained later, for now just follow me." With that she walked to a bare patch of wall and clapped her hands together in front of her once. When she brought her hands apart the wall opened, no it wasn't the wall, it was some sort of portal to someplace else, a wood paneled someplace else. When she noticed my awed expression she said "In time you too will be able to do this, until then, as I said before, follow me" and she walked through the portal. I not wanting to be left behind scurried through the doorway behind her and the portal closed with a small whoosh behind me.

(1) Arwenamin - my lady


	3. Through the Portal

**Chapter 3:**

After stepping into the wood-paneled hallway, I asked the Lady "How will my training work?" Thoughtfully humming she replied "First you'll be sent to Hogwarts to study magic." I was stunned, _The_ Hogwarts, the Hogwarts in the Harry Potter stories by J.K. Rowling? "Umm this _is_ the Hogwarts I'm thinking about right?" Chuckling she said "Yes child, it is, I just have to arrange your lodging there with Professor Dumbledore." I was incredulous "You _know_ Professor Dumbledore, tell me, does he really like lemon drops?"

"Yes I do, and yes he does."

"Wow, that's really cool!"

"Quite, as I was saying, you'll be studying magic at Hogwarts, fighting with swords, bows, axes, and various other medieval weaponry in Middle Earth."

"Middle Earth woo hoo YEAH!" The Lady gave me a weird look, and I gave her a sheepish grin in return. "Um yeah, I've always wanted to go there." Chuckling merrily she continued walking I suddenly realized she hadn't told me what work I would be doing. "Um ma'am what is the work you were walking about?" she looked confused "I didn't tell you? I'll explain it in a moment, ah yes and please don't call me ma'am it makes me feel old, ah yes here it is." The Lady stopped at a door and opened it. "I believe this room shall be to your liking, it's the master bedroom and has been decorated to your tastes." Walking through the door I gasped "I-it's beautiful." The décor was my style, the room was mostly black and purples, my two favorite colors, and it was also given a celestial theme. The ceiling was painted with a star, crescent moon and sun mural, and the bed was a massive 4-poster, complete with curtains.

That was long enough to gawk "yeah about the job" "hmm impatient aren't we?" "You should know, you have been watching me for the last 16 years." Contemplating what I said she replied "Yes anyway, continuing after you've returned from middle earth, you'll be learning more modern fighting techniques here such as hand-to-hand combat and marksmanship with a firearm." Shocked yet again for the umpteenth time all I could say was "Cool."

She closed to door to the room "Before you turn in I promised you I'd tell you what your work would be, well you'll be a guardian immortal, you'll protect various people in other realities. Such as middle earth, Hogwarts, Pern, Balinor, and any other places I tell you to go. As well you'll be able to go to realities of your choice on your vacations to do whatever you wish. If you'll come with me to the library we'll sort out all of your paperwork." So yet again I followed her elsewhere.


	4. To Hogwarts We Go!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, Hogwarts, Professor Dumbledore or Professor Snape, I wish I did, but I don't

Reminder: people review or you'll be in big trouble

**Chapter 4:**

Flashback After meandering down the hallway for a while we came to a gigantic set of wooden doors, I think they have may been oak but I'm not sure. Anyway these were the doors to the library so we went in and sat down at this enormous table and filled out a bunch of papers which I believe were a sort of insurance policy/contract thingie. Anywho after that the Lady told me to go to bed because I'd had a busy day. Since I couldn't find my way back to my room she gave me a map. So I wandered of to bed and fell into a deep sleep. End Flashback

Sitting down for breakfast I notice the Lady magically appears at the table. "Um good morning what's for breakfast?" she hands me a menu and says "Decide what you want, look at the plate and tell it what you want, just like in the Goblet of Fire." Well the menu was fabulous, with all of my favorite foods, so I chose chocolate chip pancakes with an extra large coffee.

After finishing breakfast I ordered another coffee and the lady and myself proceeded to the living room. Plunking down on an overstuffed armchair, my legs thrown over one arm I ask, "Ok so when am I going to go to Hogwarts?" Without a moments hesitation she says "As soon as you pack and we go buy you a pet." Immediately the wheels in my head began to turn "umm what kind of pet, only certain types of pets are allowed at Hogwarts cats owls and toads, but I've also heard of tarantulas and rats." A grin on her face gave away her answer immediately "any of those you choose, and maybe if you're lucky two." I thought for a moment "they just said cat, they didn't state size or breed, may I have a panther, only a cub preferably, a snow leopard and a snowy owl?" "Didn't I say two at most?" I gave her a cheerful grin "Yeah you did but I need an owl to send letters, and panthers and snow leopards are really, really cool." Frustrated she sighed "ok you can have those three, if you want any more pets you're buying then yourself, and both of the felines will be adults, no use training any cubs, they scratch the carpet" And so we went shopping.

After I'd gotten dressed, (you thought I went in my pj's didn't you? Don't lie I know you did) we proceeded to an interdimensional exotic pet store where we got my new pets. We also went to an interdimensional shopping mall and got me a new wardrobe, I found I really liked black leather. After a few moments of panic the Lady assured me that since I wasn't an ordinary student, and I came from a public school where I got to wear what I wanted, I wouldn't have to wear a uniform, at that I cheered. We also got some other necessities and some fun stuff, like a lava lamp, a fountain to keep in my dorm room, a stereo, a TV, CDs, books etc. This was after the Lady told me that until I got a grip on my powers, I'd have my own room, again I cheered. After that we proceeded home and I packed my trunk.

After that I was ready to go, I was really nervous though, but I lived. The Lady opened a portal and we stepped through. Right there stood Professor Dumbledore, he was just how J.K. Rowling described him. The Lady walked over to him then looked back to me. "Keely stay here for a little bit while I talk to the Headmaster, don't run off and don't touch anything." "Sheesh, I think I can take care of myself you know" Shaking her head in an amused manner the Lady walked off with professor Dumbledore, who had his trademark eye twinkle thing going on.

A few minutes later I was getting really bored and decided to listen to some music, so therefore I dug out my personal CD player and was soon drowning in Evanescence, and singing along. Just after Going Under started I looked up and who should be there but Mr. Snarky Potions Master himself Severus Snape. Removing the headphones from my ears and putting them around my neck and turning up the volume I asked, "Can I help you?" Giving me his trademark glare he said "no but may I ask who you are and what you're doing here? You don't appear to be a student." At that I burst out laughing and I received another glare. "Of course I'm not a student, jeez didn't you notice the lack of British accent, I'm from freaking Canada. Students don't usually go around blaring Evanescence, nor do they wear tons of black leather, or carry personal computers, stereos, televisions complete with game consoles, VCR, DVD player, and other various non-magical items." A look of dawning comprehension passed over his face "So you're the new special student, the one brought here by a friend of the Headmaster, that explains it. I'm the…" "The Potions Master, Professor Snape, I know. You don't need to tell me."

Tucking the CD player in my pocket I walked up to him and looked him up and down. "You know you're not quite what I expected, not really Allan Rickman-ish at all, interesting I may just enjoy pissing you off, oh the possibilities there are." And yet again another glare "dude don't you get tired of giving people glares all the time, why don't you do something different, like oh I don't know just staring, or doing some freaky eyebrow-raising thingie." Well needless to say he took my suggestion and soon I was running around the room singing/screaming "They're coming to take me away hee hee, to the funny farm ho ho, they're coming to take me away! Away I say! Away!"

I think I scared Snapie-poo because he retreated quite quickly to his potions lab, I guess I just have that effect on people, who knew? Anyway soon after that Dumbledore and the Lady show up, finally, the Lady makes her exit and I'm escorted to my dorm. It was gorgeous, all done up in black, silver, white and gold. After thanking Professor Dumbledore I changed to my black silk pj's, flopped and fell asleep.

Again a Reminder people please review, I'll be happy if you do and really sad if you don't, I need constructive criticism so come on people WRITE!!!


	5. Introductions and a Sorting

Disclaimer: I don't own Hogwarts, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Professor Quirrell, Gwen Stefani or her music, same with Avril Lavigne, Griffindor, the sorting hat or any Harry Potter related stuff but I do own Tinkles

Hehe more annoying Snape, singing, snazzy outfits and Hogwarts

**Chapter 5**

The next morning I woke to bright sunlight streaming between the curtains, right into my eyes. "Bloody hell, didn't I close those before I went to bed." I wasn't expecting an answer. "You did miss, I'm the one who opened them." The voice came from the right, so that's where I looked, I saw nothing. "Who, wha?" I managed to mutter "I am Tinkles miss, Headmaster Dumbledore told me to bring you breakfast, then take you to his office." Rolling to the edge of the bed, I looked down and what should I see but a House-elf holding a tray. Falling onto my back I groaned "Too early, too bloody freaking early, the guy's nuts I swear." Piping up yet again, Tinkles said "But miss, it's not early, it's after 11 O' clock." Bolting upright with a shriek I floundered around a bit, before falling off the other side of the bed in a flurry of sheets. Managing to disentangle myself, I stood up "Umm Tinkles, maybe you should have told me this sooner." "I'm sorry miss, it won't happen again." Now I felt guilty, these House-elves did their best, mistakes were allowed, and it was partly my fault for oversleeping. "Sorry Tinkles, I'm cranky when I wake up. Now what was that about breakfast and some sort of meeting?" Immediately perking up, Tinkles replied "I brought your breakfast, and you have half an hour to get to the Headmasters office, Professor Dumbledore himself said that." Thinking for a moment I decided that I'd get dressed then eat. Heading to my wardrobe I took out what I had decided to wear, going for a Goth chick look by wearing a long black velvet skirt, and a black silk top. Turning to Tinkles I said "I'll be back in a minute, help yourself to the food you brought for me if you're hungry, I'll eat on the way to the Headmasters office."

A few minutes later we were in front of the stone gargoyles, me with a half-eaten apple in one hand, and a bowl of fresh blueberries in the other. After entering the outer office area, and I finished my apple, core and all, the door to the inner office opened and from inside, Professor Dumbledore's voice said "Please Miss Knight-Nash, come inside." Turning to Tinkles I said, "Thanks for everything, I hope to see you again." Blushing furiously, and looking down at her toes she replied "'Twas nothing miss, and I hope to see you again too" and she disappeared with a pop. Again facing the door I walked through and was greeted by the sight of all the teachers being present, even Quirrell.

Turning in a full circle and waving in a cheerful manner, I said hello to all the teachers and turned back to the Headmaster. "You wanted to see me Headmaster." With his eyes madly twinkling like they've been known to do he replied "Indeed I did, you have to be sorted into a house and I wanted to introduce you to the faculty." He proceeded to introduce me to the whole staff ending with Professor Snape. Snidely the potions master remarked "We've already met, and I'm quite aware that this is our special case." With the eye twinkle going full tilt Dumbledore replied "Yes, but you don't know how much of a special case she really is. Keely here is more powerful than anyone alive. Ever. Past, present, or future. In fact there will one person ever stronger than her, and she's the one who dropped Miss Knight-Nash off." Blushing furiously ant the fact that everyone was suddenly staring at me with awe, disbelief, and one look of cold calculation (compliments of Professor Quirrell). Continuing to blush and stare at my feet I said to Professor Dumbledore "You've blown it out of proportion Professor, I'm just an ordinary girl who's been gifted with extraordinary abilities, nothing more. And those gifts, perhaps, came at too high a price" I could tell by the look on everyone's face that they had no idea what I was talking about, so I decided to enlighten them "The price was my life. I died, was reborn and am now unable to see anyone I ever cared about ever again." With this statement looks of sympathy came from all except two people. Snape and Quirrell. The former filled with shock at me being able to stay so calm while saying this (given my behavior during our last meeting), and the other as cold as ice, and twice as foreboding. Regaining the composure I had lost, I continued on "well, you wanted mw to be sorted while I'm up here, so shall we get on with it?" Dumbledore sat up with a jerk, as if he'd forgotten all about that part during my little speech. So he summoned the sorting hat to him, then passed it to me. I wasn't really in the moos to stand during this, so I sat on the floor in a cross-legged position, skirt arranged neatly, and the heels of my knee-high, semi-platform, leather boots sticking out. I plonked the hat on my head '_well well what do we have here? A powerful one, brave at heart, and knowledgeable of our world. Where to put you?_ Keeping a polite tome, I thought to the hat '_If you don't mind I'd prefer to go in Griffindor, I don't think that I'd really fit in anywhere else except Hufflepuff, though yellow's not really my color.'_ As if pondering what I said, the hat is silent for a few moments before saying _'ok, you win, you're in GRIFFINDOR!'_ Trembling I took the hat off my head and stood up. "Well that answers that question, doesn't it?" I handed the hat back to Professor Dumbledore who promptly returned it to its place. Turning back to face me, Dumbledore said "As that's taken care of, I'll arrange a room for you with an attachment to the Griffindor common room. As you must already know Professor McGonagall is your head of house, and you'll sit at the Griffindor table. As well I'll introduce you at the start of term feast, you don't have to enter with the first years, but I will ask that you stand up and say hello." The entire time he was speaking I was nodding in an understanding manner. When he was done I said, "I understand, is that all?" Thinking for a moment he added "Due to the unusual circumstances of your enrollment, you don't have to wear the school uniform if you don't want to, as long as what you do wear is within reason, though I will ask that you wear something quite similar to the uniform on certain occasions. Do you understand?" Nodding yes I said, "Thanks, if you don't mind I'd like to get to know the castle and grounds better. I know the forest is forbidden to students, and I'll try to stay away from Fluffy, so don't worry. Ta!" Ignoring the surprised and shocked looks on everyone's faces, I waved goodbye, sauntered out the door, and started walking down the corridor softly singing 'Don't Tell Me' by Avril Lavigne.

Just when I'd gotten to the part about despite the charm and the arm around my neck I heard footsteps behind me. I didn't stop singing, but I did look to my left. Who should be walking behind me but Severus Snape himself. "I thought you didn't like me?" I said nonchalantly, looking ahead "I don't" he replied "but since we had already met, the headmaster thought I should show you around." Chewing my lip and humming the tune to 'He Wasn't' having already finished 'Don't Tell Me' I thought for a moment. "That makes sense, though he must realize that with my personality I'd either drive you insane, or I'd go all hormonal teen with a mild, temporary depression problem and end up crying on you." He agreed with me, and apparently this must be another reason why Dumbledore paired us up. Suddenly I had a thought "I'm sorry about yesterday, I'm not normally quite like that. I'd had quite a few coffees that day, so I was a bit hyper. Not to mention you were the first person to talk to me directly since I arrived. Anyway from the books and movies I've seen and read where I come from, meeting you was bound to be interesting." Then with a smirk I added, "Then there were the fan fictions." At his somewhat confused expression and questioned "books, movies, fan fictions; what in the name of Merlin are you talking about?" I explained. "Where I originally came from no one here actually exists, and neither does magic as you know it. It all started with the books, but I think I shouldn't talk mush about that, it may fall into the wrong hands."

Being on the receiving end of yet another odd look wasn't fun. "Okay" I said "can we swing by my room for a minute, I wanna grab a couple things." Thinking for a moment he gave a grudging 'yes' and followed my lead. A few minutes later we stopped in front of a painting of a unicorn grazing by a stream, "Ah here we are," I said. As we stopped the unicorn gave a whinnied greeting and resumed grazing "supreme Randomness." Grabbing Snape by the hand, I dragged him inside. Stopping in the middle of the sitting room, I pushed him onto the couch. Okay stay here for a few minutes." Ignoring his growl of displeasure, I sauntered over to the temporary setting up of the stereo. Popping in Gwen Stefani's L.A.M.B. I set it on 'What You Waiting For?' and let it run. Next turning to one of the trunks littering the floor, I dove in looking for my new black leather duster, waggling my butt to the music. After I'd found it, which was after about four songs, I turned around to see Snape staring at where my rear end had been a moment ago, a look of shock upon his face. Looking between the stereo and me his mouth worked wordlessly. "Dude, close your mouth, you look like a landed fish." Just his luck 'Bubble Pop Electric' had just come on, and of course I just love the chorus, so naturally I started to sing along while looking for the rest of the stuff I had come to get.

The song soon came to the part about taking it to the back seat and running it like a track meet. Snape was continuing to make the fish face, but was actually able to speak. "It… who… what. What's a person your age listening to trash like this?" Freezing in mid-stride, as I was walking towards the stereo, I glared at you and practically snarled "for your information this is Gwen Stefani, I bought this CD for the first two songs, I happen to like the quirkiness of the rest of the songs. So to me it's not trash, and you just have bad taste in modern music." Behaving in a huffy manner I stopped the CD, stuck it in its case, and put the case in one of the large pockets of my coat. Another of which held my Discman. Turning around I said to Snape "You're supposed to show me around right? How about I don't insult anything of yours and you don't insult anything of mine. What do you say to that?" Reluctantly he agreed. I grabbed him again, this time by the arm (AN: hehe you thought I got pervy didn't you?), with one hand, and I grabbed my bag with the other and dragged him into the hallway. "Okay Mr. Tour guide, where to first?" Yanking his arm away he said, "might as well start at the top." And walked off down the corridor, robes billowing.

Jogging to keep up, a somewhat difficult thing to do in heels, I muttered "Jeez, cranky aren't we?" Out loud I said "dude, slow down, are you trying to kill me by letting me fall down a flight of stairs, or something?" Considering we happened to be walking up a flight of stairs, my statement made sense, but Mr. I-know-everything-so-I-don't-care-if-you-kill-yourself replied "why should I, Miss Knight-Nash, I'm walking at a perfectly reasonable pace." Stifling a grimace at his arrogance, as well as a few growls and well chosen (or not so well chosen depending on your point of view) words I said "okay, one the only people who could keep up are people with the speed and endurance of a race horse, two I'm wearing high heels so I can't walk as fast, and three please call me by my given name, that's what it's there for." Raising an eyebrow, he replied "and that would be?" "Uh Keely, Professor Dumbledore said it in his office, when he so bluntly described part of my situation."

That shut him up for a while. He did eventually call me by my first name, but it took some insistence on my part.

Classes start soon, so annoying the Slytherins starts with it

ok people you know the drill Read & Review


	6. Bad Moods, Signs, and Theme Songs

Ok updates, I'm sorry for not updating the story, my computer went down about one and a half to two months ago and it just got fixed, though the internet doesn't work because McAfee wants to be a buttmunch. Also I got a tattoo in early May, so that's being added in the story. I had a sudden urge for theme songs towards the end of this chapter so I added a few of the ones I like. Ok I'll shut up now and get on with the story. Happy Reading.

**Chapter 6: Bad Moods, Signs, and Theme Songs**

Soon we reached the dungeons, his domain, his hiding place or so I've come to believe. As we passed through the potions classroom, and his personal lab I observed a note of pride in his voice. After walking through each room in the dungeons, he turned to me to ask if I had any questions. Shaking my head no, I commented "You like it down here, don't you? I don't mean some sissy thing, it's just you seem to really really like it down here." Looking at me in an odd way (not unusual, I know) he replied

"Yes, I do. Down here is the only place a man can think. Upstairs it's too loud, too crowded." Nodding in understanding I was about to reply when every sound in the room was magnified. Dripping water sounded like Niagara Falls, my own heartbeat and breathing sounded like a base drum through loudspeakers playing during a hurricane. Falling to my knees with my hands over my ears, I saw Professor Snape's mildly worried face before I slipped into blissful unconsciousness.

For a second time in a row I woke to sunlight in my eyes. This time I recognized the sheets as hospital grade, and I was wearing earmuffs. Noticing no one was in view, I braced myself and removed the earmuffs. Birds were chirping sweetly, albeit slightly louder than usual to my ears. I also noticed several voices coming from what must be Madam Pomfrey's office.

"Madam Pomfrey, please. I don't know what happened. One minute she was fine, the next she fell on her knees covering her ears. Then she fell unconscious. After that I brought her directly to you."

'_Hmm if I didn't know any better, I'd say Snape was worried about me. Interesting.'_ As I continued to listen to the conversation I realized not only were Snape and Pomfrey there, but Dumbledore and McGonagall had joined them as well.

"As far as I can tell, the girl had some reaction with her hearing, but that's it." This was Madam Pomfrey of course.

"I received a last minute warning from the Lady, that the poor child's senses would be heightened unexpectedly. I had no idea it would happen this fast." Alas Dumbledore knew and didn't manage to tell me. Figures.

"Hey, people." I called "I'm awake, and thanks for telling me about my hearing, it's really good to know." I hope they picked up on my sarcasm, because I stomped out the door.

You know, a girl likes to be informed when her senses are going to go haywire unexpectedly. Especially when she may fall unconscious because of said senses. As I wasn't really looking where I was going, I almost tripped over Professor Flitwick and I slammed straight into Professor Quirrell. Doing my best not to throttle the asshole right there, I smiled and said "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

Hearing footsteps, I turned around and saw the quartet from the hospital wing. Returning my gaze to Quirrell and Flitwick, I apologized again and excused myself saying 'I wasn't exactly happy with Dumbledore and Co.' and thus 'wasn't really in the mood to talk to them.'

Scooting down the hall and around the corner, I hightailed it to my room. Slamming the portrait behind me, I leaned against the wall and heaved in a few deep breaths. Running across the castle in high heels was hard work. After I caught my breath, I wandered over to the table, picked up a piece of paper and wrote **'Not here, so don't' bother looking' **as an afterthought I added **'Feel free to leave any messages, preferably apologies. Otherwise, bite me. Yours Truly Keely'** on it in black marker. Searching around I found some string, scissors, and tape. Affixing some string to my makeshift paper sign, I snuck to the portrait door thingy, checked to see if the coast was clear (which it was), and hung the sign on the portrait frame.

Wandering back inside, I flopped down in a heavily cushioned chair and looked around. The room had changed since the last time I had been here. The couch and plush chairs were upholstered in dark plum and black velvet(before they had only been black), the bookshelves were made of ebony, and the curtains were white silk with heavy blackout curtains in front of them(on the inside, the silk curtains were closest to the window).

All of a sudden there was a pounding on the door/portrait and Professor Snape's voice saying "Open the portrait girl, we wish to talk to you."

Getting up huffily, and stomping to the door, and shouting back "Not here, please leave a message after the beep. BEEP!" I waited a few moments for them to say something, they didn't, so I waited for them to walk away, then stomped back to my chair, tripped over a rug, landed flat on my face, and swore loudly. Grumbling audibly, I got up and sat in my chair again. Little did I know, Professor Snape was still outside listening to my little tirade.

"Crap, crap, bloody crap and all that's in between. Seriously, I left that sign outside, I'm obviously not a happy camper, and still no 'oops sorry, I should have told you sooner'. I mean, come on, who does that." I got up and stalked to the door, almost slamming the portrait. Then, BAM I ran smack into Snape, sending us both tumbling to the floor. Oddly enough I landed flat on my back, on the cold stone. Contrary to how I should have landed, on my face. Again. Even more odd was when I opened my eyes, wincing, I was looking straight into those of Professor Snape. His eyes I mean. I rolled away from him and took off sprinting down the hallway, loudly singing the James Bond theme song ('cause that's what I do).

As I continued towards the Great Hall, as it was dinnertime and the students had arrived, I slowed down and switched to Mission: Impossible and slunk, hiding behind statues and suits of armour. Hearing footsteps behind me, I dove behind a large statue of an ogre and peered around the edge. It was Snape, again. Naturally I decided to follow him, and thus continued slinking down the corridor. Hearing the door to the Great Hall click shut (the hearing again, gotta love it) I hurried over and put my ear to the crack. "Now that you all know where you belong, there is other news. We have a new student of a different sort. She's a bit over the usual age of admittance, but she's also a special case. A new Griffindor, I give you Miss Keely Knight-Nash. Um where is Miss Knight-Nash?"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you Headmaster, she knocked me over and took off down the hallway. Where she went after that, I don't know." After a pause, amid which were several poorly masked snickers, Dumbledore said "Well we must send someone to find her. With that note she wrote (hee hee it rhymes) we must assume she's not in her right mind(snicker, when am I ever in my right mind?), my impressions were that she was a polite and pleasant child."

Taking this as my cue, I swung the doors open and sauntered in humming 'Die Another Day' by Madonna (AN: also the title track for a James Bond movie, I love that song). "Chill Professor, I'm here. No need to call in the Marines." I thought for a moment "unless you really want to, those Marines can be pretty cute." There was some scattered laughter among the four houses.

"Ok, you wanted me to say a few things about myself, right? Well here goes. Don't get on my bad side, if what I'm told is true, I'll kick your ass before you can say 'oops' or 'sorry'. Otherwise I'm quite a pleasant person, and a very good listener. Also, I'm rather entertaining after I've had a few coffees. I'm Canadian, and proud of it, so don't disrespect my counter. If you wish to speak to me, and don't remember what I look like, remember this." I motioned to the dragon tattoo on my upper left arm. "I'll usually be wearing sleeveless clothing, so this'll stand out a bit. That's about it I think, oh yeah call me Keely or Toxin, none of this Miss Knight-Nash crap, I'm not a teacher, and I'm not a businesswomen, so drop it, please."

Surveying the hall, I decided t was too crowded for me, and left. "Okies dokies, I'm off toodles." And sauntered out the door. Walking down the corridor I realized, too late, that I was hungry. I also realized I was at the portrait to my room. I muttered the password 'Supreme Randomness' (again, or still your choice) and stalked inside. I suddenly remembered that I had stashed some munchies in my trunk. (AN: for all of you who may not know, munchies are junk or snack food like cookies or potato chips) So I proceeded to dig through my trunks in search of said munchies.

AN:Ok yeah, I know this chapterhas a bad ending, my brain just went poof when I tried to think of something, kinda like a brain fart but much more annoying. You know the drill, read and review, and please play nice with the flames, should they exist because my evil Oompa Loompas of Doom will come and get you.


	7. Potions, Slapping, and Sarcasm

This chapter there is even more of me annoying Snape, let me know if that gets old, I make a new friend, discover more about cool fan fiction character powers, and scare people. Fan fiction life is fun. I don't own Elfwood though I do have an account and gallery, I don't own anything in the Harry Potter book, MC Hammer's music, though I do have the mentioned song on a soundtrack cd. Oh yeah, and I also slap a couple people by accident in this chapter, you'll probably find it funny when you read who.

**Chapter 7:**

I got myself really hyper on the chocolate and root beer I found that I had also stashed. Because of this I ended up playing my music really loud and probably kept part of the castle awake. Not to mention my rendition of MC Hammer's 'U Can't Touch This' at the top of my lungs. That was actually quite funny from my point of view. The next morning I awoke bright and early, which to me was around six o'clock. Go figure. After dressing in a black silk dress, which was perhaps not quite appropriate for this school (or school in general for that matter), I wandered to the Great Hall. This was around seven, so not many people were up yet, being the first official day of school and all. I was amazed that _I_ had actually gotten up.

Walking through the door I attracted some rather sleepy stares, and half-hearted catcalls concerning my attire. Plunking down in at the Griffindor table, I groaned and said "I suppose they don't serve coffee, do they?"

"Nope" came the reply "just pumpkin juice." Heaving a sigh, hit the table with my forehead and muttered "Figures. Damn, I need some caffeine."

After repeatedly banging my head off of the table, I decided to start eating because the Great Hall was starting to fill up and there was no way I was going to lose my breakfast to a bunch of eleven year olds. Snagging some bacon (sorry to you vegetarians out there) and hash browns, I settled in to eat. After ravenously downing considerable food and drink (I didn't have much of substance the night before, snacks and all) I noticed I was being watched. Hermione Granger (here she is, finally) was inspecting me like I was a specimen under a microscope from a few seats away. Looking over and giving her my trademark finger waggle (one of my many ways of waving, someone somewhere probably has something similar), I grinned as she flushed, realizing she'd been caught. Waving her over, and patting a seat, which had miraculously stayed empty throughout breakfast, I refilled my goblet and turned to her as she sat down. "So what interesting part of some millionaire's collection am I. Today or otherwise."

I continued to grin to show I meant no offense by my statement, I watched as she grew redder by the second. "Why do you say that?" she asked. Pausing for dramatic effect I appeared to think. "Well because you were looking at me like I was a particularly interesting exhibit in a museum. That's all." It was really funny, she was getting redder and redder. Plus you could imagine the cogs working in her head (what kind of word is cog anyway, how would someone come up with a word like that) "I don't have anything against museums, I actually really like museums. I'm just a little uncomfortable being exhibit-like."

I almost cracked up laughing at the look on her face. "Whoa, chill girl. I'm just playing with you. I'm like that, if you didn't figure it out last night. Weird, I mean." A dawning look of remembrance and realization crossed her face. "Don't worry about me, I'm just a bit crazy. In fact, crazy doesn't even cover half of what I am." After that she was reasonably prepared for my outbursts, etc. and we became good friends.

At the end of the school day we had Potions. With Snape. While waiting for said Professor to show up, Malfoy decided to say hi. "So you're the 'special case', you don't look like much to me." Giving him an evil grin, which made him falter a bit, I answered "Yes, I am. Would you prefer me the way I was before I was put back together. Splattered across pavement and the front of a bus. Because I'm sure that could be arranged."

When I mentioned the pavement and the bus, and everything else in that package, he blanched and turned even paler than he already was, while everyone else in the vicinity looked shocked and disgusted. Snape chose that perfect moment to show up. Giving _him_ my trademark finger waggle, I sidled up and said "You be nice today, or I'll find some way to torture you with my music you seem to hate so much. I really mean it." Giving me an odd look (so what else is new) he unlocked the door and stepped inside.

After everyone had filed in and sat down, Snape started his speech about 'bewitching the mind and ensnaring the senses', and that load of stuff. Then he started picking on Harry (we all know Harry), contrary to what I had asked him. (or told him, your choice) I soon got fed up with that, and raised my hand. "Yes Miss Knight-Nash?"

"Powerful sleeping potion called Drought of Living Death. A stone from the stomach of a goat, which will save you from most poisons. No differences, also known as aconite."

"What Miss Knight-Nash?"

"The answers sir. I've read them about 50 bazillion times. Plus what have I said about calling me that, and what I said more recently, about being nice. Do we need a repeat of the Evanescence incident?"

After several emotions crossed his face (anger, disbelief, and shock to name a few), he ,managed to force out "Detention. Tonight. 8 o'clock." Plastering on a cheerful grin, I replied "Terrific, I wonder if you get my usual radio station here? Some tunage (I can't believe I actually said tunage) would be wonderful. Anything specific I should bring? Whips, chains, rope maybe?"

"We'll discuss this after class. and make that _two_ detentions."

"Even better."

"Three."

"Maybe I'd better shut up."

"Maybe you should."

"Fine, I will. But remember what I said."

After that the class more or less settled down. That is until Neville melted his cauldron. Poor Neville, those boils must have hurt. Then, of course, Snape blamed it on Harry. That pissed me off so much that I stopped paying attention, burnt my hand (my whole hand was black and crispy), and shrieked "Sonnava beeyatch!" Then I proceeded to wave my hand in the air, accidentally slapping the person next to me. I also hit Snape, who had come over to see what the problem was. Then, suddenly, my hand healed and I let loose a long, drawn out "Duuude." Apparently that's not supposed to happen without some wand waving, or potion, or something. Everyone looked shocked. Even Neville, who hadn't gone to the Hospital Wing yet, appeared to ignore his pain and stopped dancing on the spot to stare. I let out a whoop, and shouted "Immortality, kick-ass senses, and rapid healing. My life rocks!" Then I did a little dance (similar to the first comment dances at Elfwood, I love Elfwood), and promptly sat back down in my seat.

Class continued quite sanely until class ended and everyone filed out in disarray. That's when I headed to Snape's desk. "What do I need for my detention sir?"

"Just a pen, you'll be writing lines." Lines. I hadn't done those since I was in elementary school, and my second cousin who doubled as babysitter back then made me write them for refusing to do my homework. "Um, okay sir. Anything else."

"No, that's all."

"May I bring a radio or cd player. I find I work more constructively with music playing."

"Very well, but you'll have to keep it down." Yet again I did a little boogie, then said "Thanks sir" and sauntered out the door.

After that the day was smooth sailing that is until my detention. As I walked through the door I got the shock of my life.

Ooh cliffhanger, a bad cliffhanger true, but oh well who really cares. Again if you don't read and review my Demonic Gerbils of Chaos and Mayhem and my Evil Bunnies of DOOM! will get you... also I'll get upset, and you wouldn't want to do that to me, now would you? Because I'll discontinue the story and be pouty. Oh yeah I changed chapter two, it makes more sense now.


	8. Paintings, Late Nights, and The Used

AN:Finally I've updated, sorry about that I've had writers block. Plus it didn't help that I was failing my Global History class so I was trying, unsuccessfully, to pass. Yeah I failed. Anyway I hope you like this chapter, I'm now on a roll, so "Ive started chapter 9. I've also gotten my second tattoo, a tribal lion's head wich is almost entirely black except for it's blue eyes. Well that's all for now buh-bye from your mildly insene author Toxin 

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, any music by The Used, gold or red dye, a microphone, Snape, Hermione, Draco Malfoy, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Madam Pomfrey, Crabbe and Goyle, Slytherin, or a half way decent singing voice.

**Chapter 8:**

I thought I was prepared, I even brought some handcuffs. But what greeted me when I opened the door totally threw me off. The room was bright, cheerful even. The room was in pastel colors; landscapes and portraits of small children in bright colors adorned the walls. Comfortable chairs and plush sofas and loveseats were scattered around and a cheery fire burned merrily in the fireplace. It was the definition of a preppy family room. As I stepped forward I ran into something hard, knocking myself down, causing me to crack my head on the floor at which point I passed out. I woke up on a plush couch, which felt like it was upholstered in velvet (my eyes were still closed). When I opened my eyes, I winced at the bright light, which caused a sharp pain to flare at the back of my head. When I actually managed to open my eyes without pain I was again surprised, the room had changed. It was the dark elegance you'd expect of a suave vampire, or stately Henry Jackell. The velvet couch I was on was a rich jade green, the mantle polished ebony. The walls black with the dull sheen of pewter. It was a patriotic Slytherin's dream room. And above me, yet again, was Snape; hovering like a deranged bee. With Madam Pomfrey fluttering on the sidelines like a batty butterfly (multiple b's not intentional, I just couldn't find anything else I liked in the thesaurus). "Crap, what happened? My head feels like someone took a two-ton sledge to it.

With a slightly apologetic look Snape explained my unconscious state. "A portrait in my office wanted to be moved; apparently the occupants felt the ambiance of the room to be too dreary to exist in. As I was moving it out the door you ran into it. You know the rest." So that's what happened. I ran into a bloody portrait. Just my luck, run into a portrait and knock myself out. Isn't my life lovely on so many levels? Anyway I served my detention with minimal fuss and effort, seeing as they (Snape & Pomfrey) decided I wasn't in a perfectly healthy state, so I couldn't do any real work. I more or less just sat and behaved myself. I did protest that I was fine, I heal quickly, and didn't Snape remember the bit with the fire, which came after I got myself into this mess?

Well, after my eventful evening, I went back to my room, popped a couple painkillers (my head was still a little sore), and settled into sleep when all hell broke loose in my bedroom. Books flew around, the bed hangings did a little dance, and general mayhem ensued. Thankfully to a nifty little charm I had read in a book made all of this stop, and caused whoever was doing it to get a sharp jab every time they tried to continue. Not only that but the next morning I'd have a sure way of knowing who it was. It was then that the painkillers kicked in and I wandered off to bed, sleeping finally.

The next morning, walking into the Great Hall, three people at the Slytherin table were red and gold, Pansy Parkinson, Draco Malfoy and Blaise Zabini. I guess Crabbe and Goyle didn't have the brainpower or perhaps the magic power to use the spell cast on my room. The three who actually did it surprised me as well, first years doing something like that; I guess I didn't give them enough credit. Chuckling slightly I went to sit next to Hermione, who asked me what was funny. Telling her the story of my previous evening, she grew increasingly shocked. Instead of finding the result of the incident funny, she scolded me. "You shouldn't use magic to get back at people, that makes you no better than them." She nodded her head towards the Slytherin table. "I only did it to make the mess stop and find out who did it; I had no express wish to harm anyone. Plus the colors will come out naturally in a few weeks, it's just like dye." I replied. Crossing her arms, and giving me a 'that's no excuse' look she said, "That doesn't make any difference, you still did it, and it was wrong. And not funny either." This contrasting to Fred and George's hoots of laughter from down the table. Looking back at Hermione I casually mentioned "Hermione, I'm seventeen, reasonably responsible, and have sufficient sense to know when I'm going overboard. Had what I did been too much I wouldn't have done it, that'd be cruel and unusual punishment." She had to agree to that, my statement was true. Looking around again I noticed Snape giving me an accusing, livid glare. Oh crap, he knew what I did, time for desperate measures. Mustering all of the courage I had. I marched up to the staff table, turned to face the house tables and summoned up a microphone. "Hello ladies and gentlemen, you may or may not know me from the other night, or perhaps my antics later on. Either way you'll know me now, as I have some entertainment for you. Now I don't' know whether or not you like The Used, but I do, so here's 'All That I've Got'." And I belted it out:

"So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me  
Off guard, red handed  
Now I'm far from lonely  
Asleep I still see you lying next to me  
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I..

I need something else  
Would someone please just give me  
Hit me, knock me out  
And let me go back to sleep  
I can laugh  
All I want inside I still am empty  
So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me I...

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

I guess, I remember every glance you shot me  
Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat  
I squoze so hard  
I stopped your heart from beating  
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me, I..

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

And it's all that I've got  
Yeah, it's all that I've got  
It's all that I've got  
It's all that I've got  
It's all that I've got!

So deep that it didn't even bleed and catch me  
So deep that I didn't even scream fuck me

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

I'll be just fine  
Pretending I'm not  
I'm far from lonely  
And it's all that I've got

And it's all that I've got  
Yeah, it's all that I've got"

Bowing to the scattered applause and shocked expressions, which, to my surprise, brought a considerable amount of catcalls because I'd inadvertently flashed the whole school with my cleavage. Oops, my bad. Moseying on back to my seat I flashed a grin and finger waggle to the staff table, noted happily the shock and disgust of the teachers, and the well masked fury of Snape. Plonking my butt in my seat, I managed to take a sip of pumpkin juice before Hermione grabbed me by the arm and hissed "What was that for, are you_ trying _to get yourself in trouble. What are you trying to prove, that you're a show off?" Taking a well needed swig of pumpkin juice before answering I replied "Hermione, no I'm not trying to prove that I'm a show off, you don't even know how hard that was for me, I don't really enjoy being up in front of people, and normally I don't sing much because I'm awful. But Snape, somehow he knows what I did, that it was me. To be truthful, I don't know why I did it, I guess I was desperate for something to distract from the other thing, but I won't apologize."

Gaping a bit, Hermione said "You aren't awful, you're amazing, that's why there was so few applause, you shocked us all. Though that song was a bit gross, with all of the blood, and swearing, and the other unpleasant details." No, I _can't_ sing, yet here she is telling me I can, she's nuts I swear. So I plastered a disbelieving look on my face and left it at that.

AN: Contrary to my fanfic self, I really _can't_ sing, I'm actually awful. I've been told I'm not very good. I love 'All That I've Got', I've listened to it a billion times in the past couple months


	9. Chickens, Advice and a dog named Pontouf

Disclaimer: I don't own the musical group Prodigy, their song Firestarter, the Elvish language, any chickens, nor dogs, Hermione, Herry, Ron Malfoy, Neville, Professor McGonagall, or anything else to do with Happy Potter... and maybe a few other things, I'm not sure I can find them all

**Chapter 9:**

That day wasn't very eventful after breakfast. Sure people came up to me in the halls and complemented me, or insulted me; I guess some people weren't really fans of my behavior. Oh well, such is life. I also managed to get side checked by a large Slytherin; I suppose he was surprised when I knocked him into a wall. Detention be damned, I wasn't going to take that from him. Charms class was mildly entertaining; Seamus managed to set his hair on fire, as well as mine, which, thankfully, grew back seconds later. There was a chance to sign up to learn to fly a broomstick. I decided to pass, though I did go down to watch. Poor Neville, I heard the crack all the way over where I was sitting under a tree. Then the minor argument began. Before it got too heated, I stepped in. "Leave Neville alone, you have no right to speak about him like that." I'd forgotten the wand I'd bought to fit in more in my room, cypress 7 ½ inches and all three core types, weird I know. Hair from the forelock of a unicorn mare, phoenix pinion, and the heartstring of an Eastern Canadian Violet Dragon (ok so I made it up, but it kind of sounds like the Welsh Green, so I'm happy.) "Now why would we do that," sneered Parkinson "when we're having so much fun?" Stepping closer so that she noticed that I towered over her in my heels, I replied "Because that might prompt a girl like me to have fun, and what's fun for me wouldn't be fun for you." I said all of this as lightly as possible, barely masking the underlying threat. I'd planned it that way, of course. Then he found Neville's remembrall. "It's that thing that great lump's gran sent him."

"Give it here Malfoy." Harry said quietly, we all turned to look at him. "How about no." Grinned Malfoy nastily. At that time I had started to will the grass by Malfoy's feet to catch fire, for no reason at all I really willed it. I guess my aim was off. It wasn't the grass that caught fire, it was the broom in his hand. The twiggy tail went up with a whoosh, and flames started to lick at the handle. Malfoy dropped it like it was on fire, which it was. Smiling sheepishly I said "Oops must have lost my temper." And shrugged. Malfoy then grabbed a broom from someone else "How about I leave this thing for Longbottom to find, how about in that tree." (This follows the book very closely, though in the book he says in a tree, not in that tree. I've avoided plagiarism) Harry took off after him and caught the blasted object. Then the temporarily ignored fire began to snake its way towards me, slithered up my leg, then continued to grow till I was completely engulfed in flame. Professor McGonagall chose this time to come rushing out of the castle. She, of course, didn't notice me ablaze, with oddly entirely blue fire. She did notice Harry though. "HARRY POTTER, what were you doing?"

"Um flying Professor." She still hadn't noticed me, though the flames had started to go down. She spluttered on for a few minutes, despite protests from several people.

When she left she still hadn't noticed me, at this point only my hands and hair were aflame. Desperate for a laugh, I threw my hands in the air, sending flames shooting up, and shouted "Supervillians, evildoers and bullies beware, this gal's got fi-yah!"(If you don't know, I actually said fire, not some other weird thing) I did a little dance in a circle playing with my fire, while everyone stared at me with wide eyes, which got wider after I started singing 'Firestarter' by Prodigy and ran toward the front doors.

After I went inside, I ran around the castle for a bit, scaring a few ghosts and several people along the way. Then after I put myself out, I proceeded to the Griffindor common room. I hadn't been there yet, so I thought I'd pay it a little visit. It was nice, the couches and chairs were something like in my room, but upholstered in another fabric and rather worn. Looking around, I tried to find the entrance to my room, it was well hidden I have to say.

Finally I spotted it, a hanging on the wall the same as one in my sitting room. Oddly enough it was of a singing chicken and a dog named Pontouf singing a duet. (AN: the chicken and Pontouf are an inside joke, if you want to know, just ask) At that moment number of first years burst in through the door chattering excitedly. They seemed to be talking about Harry's behavior, and minimally about mine. As soon as they saw me they stopped dead in their tracks. Hermione stepped forward "Just what did you do back there? Flames like that aren't normal. (Tee hee, technically any sort of conjured flame isn't normal, I like irony.) "How did you do that?" Looking her square in the eye, I replied "I'm a Pyro, I'm Pyrokenetic. I start and control fires with my mind, and I just happen to like blue fire." (AN: I really do like blue fire. I have a belt and shirt with a pattern of blue fire and everything) That shut her up they all seemed aghast for a moment. Then they all sort of dispersed in general disarray, and went about their business.

That is except Hermione. She stuck around and we chatted for a bit. About this, that, and everything else. About the recent developments in my life, and several other unimportant topics. The dinner bell eventually rang and we went down to dinner. Of course Harry got on the Quidditch team, and Malfoy challenged him to a duel. It's a wonder he didn't challenge me instead. I suppose after the bit with the fire he was a bit scared of me, being of equivalent age to the sixth years added to it a bit I suppose. When Hermione got up to talk to Harry, I went with her, moral support and all that jazz. "I couldn't help overhearing your conversation…" she started "I bet you couldn't" muttered Ron. Glaring at him a bit, I snapped "That's no reason to be rude." And his mouth snapped shut abruptly. Continuing in Hermione's place I persisted "It's a bad idea, you'll get caught, or close to it. You know he won't show, and you'll have gone out for nothing. You really shouldn't go."

"And just why shouldn't we go?" Ron asked. Rolling my eyes in annoyance I replied "I just said. Because 1) you'll either get caught or almost get caught 2) he won't show and 3) it's just a bad idea." Staring at them in an 'if you go you're idiots' kind of way I said "Those good enough reasons for you?" All I got was a curt "No" and they walked off whispering to each other. They were talking about me, I could hear them. This was really annoying so I called after them "I can hear you, you know?" and plunked back down at the table.

Dropping my head on my hands I asked glumly "Why does no one listen to me, especially when I'm saying something important. Is it how I look, how I speak, or how I behave? What's wrong with me?" Sitting down beside me, Hermione answered awkwardly "Well, I'm not sure it's any of those things. Maybe it's just your demeanor. You appear to prefer to not give advice, at least good advice. You're a sixteen year old first year, that's got to count in their eyes. Anyway I'm not sure they're the type to take advice, good or otherwise. So perhaps it's not you at all, just them." That didn't help, I don't seem the type of person to give good advice. Well that's just not true. When I gave advice it tends to be good advice, probably because I don't give advice often. "Thanks Hermione, any other little pearls of wisdom before I go jump off of the battlements?" At that point she got all concerned and proceeded to tell me why I shouldn't kill myself, or at least try to kill myself, that I had so much to live for. You couldn't imagine her surprise when I told her jumping wouldn't kill me as at that point I couldn't die, I'd only inflict pain upon myself. And as I have a low tolerance for pain, jumping off of the battlements would be a pointless idea, and I wasn't going to do it anyway. She didn't get the part about the inability to die, so I promised to explain it later.

Later on, in my groovy little sitting room, I explained my situation to Hermione. She was shocked. Beyond shocked. But when she got too sympathetic, well that was too much. True, something bad had happened to me, but it also brought something good. True I'd essentially lost my whole family, but I'd get a new one, maybe more than one. Plus I was here, that stood for something. True, it was a bit depressing, but what wasn't these days. I couldn't even watch the news, and I wouldn't go anywhere near the newspaper with the exception of the comics and the Sudoku. That's just how I am. I rapidly changed the subject, which probably didn't look too good, and careened off through the subject of pets. She didn't have any and she didn't know about mine. Imagine her shock when I called Mordollwen and Nieninque into the room (AN: Mordollwen means 'dark as night' in Elvish and is pronounced More-dole-when and Nieninque is Elvish for snowdrop I have no idea how it's pronounced, mind you I could have called her snow leopard (ailosacath) because that's what she is, but that's not really original). I guess she hadn't seen cats that big before, or cats that big who were so gentle. I suppose seeing a panther or snow leopard up close would shock anyone. (AN: Yeah I know I've neglected these two, I forgot about them completely. I've also realized that I haven't named them. And another thing, I've just found out that my name is Irish for warrior maiden. Who knew?) After the two furry people in the room had begun to romp, tearing the rug, I instructed them to take it outside. At which point a flock of chickens from Leeds appeared in the room. I knew they were from Leeds by their accent. 'What accent?' you may ask. Well I'll tell you. They were chickens weren't they? They clucked didn't they? Well chickens from Leeds cluck with an accent, everyone knows that. I set loose the chickens into the Griffindor common room so they could wreck havoc upon the unsuspecting students within. Those chickens were good at it too, as soon as they entered the room three people screamed. I allowed myself a small chuckle then closed the door and sat down on the sofa.

"So Hermione, any more questions?" She said she didn't have any, so I went through the usual stuff you do when you have company, I offered drinks and stuff. She declined so I got myself a vodka cooler from the nifty little wet bar I'd discovered cough created cough, I suppose its possible alcohol is prohibited for students. Oh well. We then chatted for a while then Hermione decided she's better go, so she left me to wallow in my "why not's" and "why doesn't any one listen to me's". Why does no one listen to me, really? Anyway it would seem that Hermione actually went with Harry and Ron when they went to the duel and, just as I'd told them, Malfoy didn't show. They barely just missed Filch and Mrs. Norris, and almost got eaten by Fluffy. I'm surprised, though, that they didn't run into Peeves. When I checked the copy of the first book I had locked away in a box in my room, it said they were supposed to (AN: In many fictions I'd imagine that the book itself would change if a character such as mine had showed up, I'm not doing this because I want to follow the basic storyline, or perhaps timeline and have the book as an anchor of some sort to how the story is supposed to be, or perhaps a reference for my character.) it makes sense that what happens would change a bit with me here.

AN: Read, Review, you know the drill. I would suggest doing it because I might hunt you down and attack you mercilessly with an ostrich feather, but just on whimsy. Sorry it took so long, writers block and a death in the family kind of does things to affect your writing. Also send your wishes to the family of someone in my school who drowned on the weekend, I didn't know him but he will be missed, he was only 16. Ok no more melancholy thoughts, I'll hurry up this time.

Your author,  
Toxin


	10. Insults, Trolls, and More Fainting

Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
I no own,  
So you no sue. 

I found this cute little saying somewhere, I can't remember where. I thought I'd share it wth you all. I've noticed no one has been reviewing for the last two chapters at least, what's wrong with you people you should review. Anyway I've realized that this is taking a very long time to write, so I'll try to hurry up, but I'm writing everything by hand then typing it out so I have a hard copy somewhere and the teacher has taked the internet off of the computers in my film and video class, so my time to type is rather limited. Anyway enjoy the chapter.

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**Chapter 10:**

The next day, after Charms, Ron made that incredibly rude comment about how no one could stand Hermione. Honestly, I could have slapped him. After she rushed off I stepped up behind him and stated, "I can stand her, and I'm her friend. Don't I count for something, or do I not exist to you? Good job, now she'll be crying all afternoon thanks to you. I hope you're satisfied" and hurried off after Hermione. I found her in the girl's bathroom, sorry washroom. Bathroom implies a bathtub or shower. She was bawling her eyes out, poor girl. I spent the next five or six hours, missing dinner (the Halloween feast of all things) in the process, explaining that in situations like that guys usually have shit for brains and don't really give a rat's ass who they hurt. None of this helped much, so I merely resolved to summon comfort food and let her finish.

Suddenly loud thumps Reverberated through the floor and through the door walked the ugliest, smelliest thing I'd ever seen, or smelled for that matter, and I've smelled some nasty stuff in my time. (AN: skunk road kill for example, or an egg, not hard boiled, left in a classroom for about a month) This had to be the troll, the descriptions I'd read were nothing compared to the real thing, old socks and uncleaned toilet indeed. Slowly it lumbered forward, and the smell grew unbearable. Me, being the unthinking person, had forgotten about the troll and didn't wear anything with sleeves. With my hand covering my nose and mouth, the stench was so strong you (not a pleasant experience I can tell you), I crept forward staying hidden by the stalls till the last second. Apparently it had heard me, because as soon as I stepped into view its club swung out, catching me in the stomach sending me flying into the wooden stalls. Ever the stubborn one, I got up somehow not noticing the large shard of wood projecting from my back. Stalking forward I caught the business end again, this time in the chest, sending me in the opposite direction, this time into the mirrors. Connecting with the wall caused the wood to jam itself further into my torso, piercing my lung, and shards of mirrored glass imbed itself in my spine (plus the rest of my back). I didn't know a lung wound could bleed quite that much. The last thing I saw before passing out (AN: That has been happening a lot hasn't it?) was Harry and Ron rushing through the door. I woke up briefly when the teachers came in; they seemed to think I was dead. Well I don't think I was breathing, a piece of wood through you lung can do that, and Professor McGonagall said, "Poor dear, damned thing got her." I think she jumped a foot when I gasped in a breath (damn that hurt) and croaked "Not likely" and opened my eyes "no bloody troll is gonna get me." Hermione screamed, "She's alive" and ran over and grabbed me in a hug. Sharp pains, incredibly strong, lanced through my whole body. "Hermione, pain, lungs, all of me. Ow." She backed off, and I passed out. Again.

Sharp lancings of pain, nothing compared to what I'd gone through earlier, pricked everywhere I'd been struck with something, mirror or wood. Voices softly floated past me from an open door farther past me. How I knew where the door was, or that the voices were beyond it, I don't know. I groaned and sat up, poking myself n the back with one finger. Apparently I was healed, because otherwise one would assume I wouldn't be lying on my back, rather I'd be on my front, plus I'd be bleeding or something. The pain was residual memories or something, possibly the wounds within my skin healing as my skin had. Whatever it was, it hurt, and me having a low tolerance for pain (AN: I have a low tolerance for pain, yet I can spend an hour getting tattooed without a tear or a whimper. Quite a few "ow's" mind you, and a lot of lip biting and teeth clenching, but no crying. Actually it would be about an hour and a half total under the needle if you include my first tattoo as well as my second.) I let out a bit of a whimper; drawing people from sleep in the chairs around me and others from Madam Pomfrey's office. Yes, I was in the hospital wing. You'd think that by now they'd just send me to my room. Who knows how long I'd been there, what classes I'd missed. "Well Sleeping Beauty has finally woken up" a sarcastic voice stated. Who else but Snape would use sarcasm in a situation like this? The Sleeping Beauty bit threw me for a loop though; apparently everyone else was the same. Everyone present turned to look at him, me with a raised eyebrow. (AN: In real life I can't actually raise only one eyebrow, I don't know why, I just can't). "Sleeping Beauty eh. Is there something I should know?" A curt "No" was all I received. That was starting to happen quite a bit. Same with the passing out as well. Allowing a sardonic smile before asking "don't you people keep decent painkillers around here? 'Cause I've got pain, and I'd like to get rid of it."

Wincing I slowly reclined back onto my pillows. Finally comfortable I said "Another question, how long have I been here, and why do I still hurt?"

"I can answer that question." Came a misty voice from my left, all the heads in the room whipped in that direction. "Lady, howdy, I'm glad you can answer me." Gliding over to the bed (yeah she glides) she fussed with her skirts and produced a bottle of morphine pills. "You're still in pain because your body is used to healing at the rate of a mortal. It had sped up a bit, well maybe more than a bit, so you've only been unconscious for a few days. I'm sure it's been attempted to heal you by magical means, but your body is resistant to it, so that won't work. What gave you the idea to attack, or even stalk, a full-grown mountain troll? It's bigger than you, though perhaps not stronger. Maybe you should have tried catching the club with your hands rather than with you stomach. No matter, you're fine now, be grateful for that." During her little speech everyone who hadn't before seen the Lady, or hear her voice, gaped unabashedly. No surprise there. "Okay, okay I get it; no more attacking trolls till I learn how to fight." I managed to get a small smile out of her; no one else really got it though. No one else knew I would learn how to fight, let alone about Middle Earth.

Anyway, my mood lightened, I grinned suddenly, hopping out of bed. That's when I realized what I was wearing… or perhaps what I wasn't wearing. Quick as lightning I snatched the blanket and wrapped it around me. No, I wasn't naked, silly children, I was in my underwear. Luckily the students were behind me, I'd gotten off of the left side of the bed and that were on the right, so I avoided flashing the younglings with more than enough cleavage than they need to see at age eleven. The downside was I flashed the only adult looking at me: Snape. Why is this always happening? First the thing on the foyer, than the little tour that ended in me fainting because of sound. That was the first time he actually seemed to care. And then the tumble in the hallway, then I slapped him in class (plus everything else that happened in that situation), t hen I knocked myself out going to detention, he seemed rather worried about me then too, now this. Blushing to the roots of my hair, I tried to slip past him so I could get dressed when I heard him whisper "Sleeping Beauty, indeed." Hearing this I stumbled a bit, you can probably guess who caught me. This gave me the chance to hiss a reply. "Just what are you implying? And thanks for not letting me hit the floor." For this I received a strange look. One I'd never seen before, it was indecipherable and left me wondering. For a moment I couldn't look away, even after I wrenched my gaze from his I found myself looking back over my shoulder as I walked away, his eyes burning a hole in my back, just to the left and up a bit from where the wood stabbed me.

I managed to softly shuffle off without tripping or simply falling over. When I walked back, fully dressed, I returned the blanket to the bed and spun around, wincing slightly. "Okay, what have I missed and what homework do I need to do?" (AN: Homework, me? Not likely, but let's pretend immortal me is a good little girl and does her homework) I was soon assured that because of the circumstances I wouldn't be held responsible for homework missed. Fully relieved, I sauntered to my room.

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AN: again people,REVIEW DAMMIT! seriouslymy Demonic Gerbilsof Chaos and Mayhem will come and get you, they're no longer under my control, though very protective of my fic. Read & Review to make them, and me, happy. 


	11. Christmas, kissing, and CANDY!

Roses are red,  
Violets are blue,  
I no own,  
So you no sue.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter save Tinkles, who isn't in this chapter, I don't own Taco Bell, Icarus from Greek mythology, the Lord of the Rings, any of the "Idiots Guide..." books(well I own a _copy_ of one, but I don't own the franchisespelling?), the movie Donnie Darko, Smirnoff Ice (I've never even tasted it), Captain Jack Sparrow, or the "Grinch Who Stole Christmas" or any of the songs pertaining to that movie.

**Chapter 11:**

Harry's first quidditch match was today, yeah I know he'd do well. He didn't though. Plonking down in a chair opposite him (one of my specialities, I know) I listened to Hermione and Ron encourage him. Hermione had more or less abandoned me for them, but I was fine with that. That was how things were supposed to be. However, this left me in a bit of a rut. I didn't have anyone to spend time with. Percy attempted friendship, but my personality didn't agree with him. I loved fun, plus my disregard for athority didn't suit him at all. Then Fred and George made themselves aquaintences of mine. We worked well together, causing mayhem and panic with our pranks. The two of them walked into the Great Hall and sat in the empty seats on either side of me. Giving each a poke in the shoulder and a wave, I continued listening to Ron and Hermione. Apparently what they were saying wasn't working. So me, being the ever nosy one added a bit of my knowledge of the situation. "Harry honestly, you'll do fine. Trust me." Somehow he didn't, trust me I mean. "And just why should I trust you?"

"I know these things, seriously. Plus, I was right about the Malfoy thing, wasn't I? He didn't show, did he?" I said, rolling my eyes in exasperation. He gave a little nod and slowly started to eat some breakfast. '_Tee hee, score one for the immortal chick_' I thought, and started filling my own plate. I brought my girls to the match, being big cats and all I thought they'd fit in. They sat on either side of the banner and roared loudly when the Grffindor's team went out onto the field. Their appearance on the stands caused a few people to become nervous, especially when they began to roar. People started to loosen up after they started thei rumbling purr and continued throughout the match. Everything was going well, but then the unthinkable happened. Taco Bell ran out of burrito's. No not really. Harry's broom started to go the way if Icarus. Down. But then we won, and we had fun. Tee hee I rhymed.

After that Christmas rolled around. I went home for about the equivalent of the vacation time, got some presents, got paid (for what, I don't know), and stuffed myself on holiday munchies. Chicken bones (the pink cinnamon flavored candy and chocolate kind, not literal chicken bones), candy canes, chocolate bells, and that ribbon candy, you know the drill. When I went back to Hogwarts only one day had passed, so I managed to spend vacation at school as well. Having gotten paid I bought people presents. For Hermine I bought a collecters version of the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and a magical bookmark kit (It had various designs to choose from, decorstions, and extra little bitsand pieces that I'd included myself, it could also be changed periodically). To Harry I gave a "you know you're obsessed with Harry Potter when..." list, just as a joke; I also included some salt water and maple candy from Canada and An Idiot's Guide to Studying (AN: if that's a real book, let me know). For Ron I added the same candy as I did for Harry, a collar for Scabbers (we all know we'd like a shock collar for Peter), and a magical book called You Know You're Addicted to When which filled in whatever the person holding it really liked and added signs to indicate when they're addicted to that thing. (for him at one point it was the Chudly Cannons and included "You know you're addicted to the cannons when your room is so orange it resembles a furnace"AN:lame sounding, I know. I couldn't think up anything better ) I sent Fred and George some muggle pranking equipment (you know, whoopie cushions and the like) and matching mugs stating a humorous message suited perfectly to their personalities. I even sent Snape something. Mind you it was a magic compatible copy of the movie 'Donnie Darko' and a well aged bottle of rum (can rum be well aged? I'm not much of a drinker, so I don't know), six bottles of Smirnoff Ice and a not promising that one day soon we'd get together, watch Donnie Darko, and get drunker than skunks at a St. Patrick's Day parade. Do you think that I was hinting he should loosen up a bit? Well I _was_ going to send him some amazing smelling hair gel with the implication that if he had something with an amazing scent within smelling distance then maybe he wouldn't be so grouchy all of the time. But that could be taken badly. I got a couple of mifty presents as well. Aside from the standard issue candy I recieved a t-shirt which read 'I've got a certain something for a guy who's tall, dark and handsome' on the front. On the back it read 'If you see Captain Jack Sparrow, tell him he'll have his hat back by Tuesday'. The second shirt I recieved read the same on the front, but on the back read 'If you find this guy, tell him he's not getting his wand back... unless he does a certain _something_ for me wink wink' (AN: again weak, I know, I really can't think of anything _really_ good to put there. I'm so ashamed)

After opening my prezzies I bounced into the Griffindor common room (after I'd gotten dressed) pouncing of Fred and George. You could tell I'd already eaten quite a bit of candy. Soon they had to go get Percey and Ron, so I plonked my butt on a sofa and wriggled around in my seat until someone asked me if I need to use the bathroom. Finally they came down the stairs, Percey well enmeshed in his sweater. It was soon dinner time and we meandered down the corridor to the Great Hall. By the time we arrived I was well into "You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch" and having walked in wearing my 'tall, dark and handsome' shirt #2, Snape looked at me and almost choked on his pumpkin juice. One can also assume he'd recieved his present, because I'm not sure he'd be quite so surprised if I hadn't sent him rum. Pulling apart a wizard cracker with George produced a purple velvet top hat, the usual white mice and oddly a single white knight from a wizard chess set which promptly decided to attack me. I commandeered the hat and plonked it on my head at a slightly drunked angle. George found the knight funny so the solitary chess piece went to him. The mice dissappeared to who knows where, most likely becoming lunch for some hungry feline.

Then dinner was served, it was good too; dessert was awsome. After that I bounded to the staff table and made mistletoe appear every few feet, then tripped and fell flat on my face. Bouncing back up like the indestructable freak I am, I looked at the teacher in front of me, looked above them then grinned a wicked grin. Smack dab above the head of the professor was an enormous bunch of mistletoe. Apparently my work must have bred or multiplied or something. "Umm Professor, look up." He looked up. "Dude, do you have to kiss yourself or something?" Somehow Dumbledore appeared and sidled up beside me "No I believe the task goes to the person nearest to him." whispering in my ear he added "and I do believe this well be beneficial to the both of you." I managed a swift, questioning glance before being magically pushed so I landed sprawled, face first, on the table then slid across and almost landed in the lap of the man seated below the behemoth known as a bunch of mistletoe. "Umm sir, is this proper? You know student and teacher, is it even allowed?" With no explanation I shrugged in a 'whatever, lets just do this' manner, I moved properly under the mistletoe (if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it right) and waited for him to get up. He did, even though he took his sweet time and half the Great Hall went silent and watched with anticipation once they realized what would happen. Snapre (who else? The world seemed out to get us... or just maybe _one_ person) had the decency to stand in such a way that only the teachers would see before he gave me a quick peck on the lips. What a disappointment. "You call that a kiss worthy of mistletoe?" I muttered before stepping in, sliding my hands up his shoulders to grasp his surprisingly soft and grease-free hair and pressing my, suddenly very willing, lips to his. At first he stiffened (get your mind out of the gutter ladies) and seemed like he wanted to pull away, but slowly melted till I hesitantly pulled away in order to let him breathe. Gasping slightly, I whispered "_That_ was a kiss worthy of mistletoe. How was that for someone who's never been kissed" and gave another wicked grin. Only he had heard what I had said, and the look I got was something else. From the teachers we recieved smug, satisfied looks, one said "About time," and Dumbledore was all eye-twinkle. Bloody hell, he's planned this. The students were a different matter, there were some scattered applause and catcalls. Plus some disgusted looks from people who weren't either a fan of Snape or a fan of me. Fred and George were just a riot of indecisiveness, first looking grossed out one minute, then calling out interesting suggestions the next. Me, I just winked to Snape, sent a scathing glare to Dumbledore, and ambled back to my seat giving Snape a perfect view of my back, message and all, for the first time; only to be mercilessly interrogated by Griffindor 4th through 7th year girls (apparently Snape has admirers among the rivals of his house). This time he _did_ choke on his pumpkin juice, or maybe it was wine, I'm not sure (we weren't french kissing, so it's not like I could taste).

Once I had practically beaten off my questioners with a stick, I sat down and began to enjoy my second dessert, occasionally sending a sidelong glance up at Severus to see his expression (Yes I'd decided to call him Severus in my mind, even if outwardly I'd still refer to him as Snape, give or take 'Professor'). Anyway, he continued as if nothing had happened, even though the teachers to either side of him did the 'wink wink, nudge nudge' thing. After that I decided to mind my own business and behave myself to some reasonable extent. Whether I did or not is my own business , plus you really wouldn't want to know... would you?

AN: again for the third time people, REVIEW DAMMIT! seriously my Demonic Gerbils of Chaos and Mayhem will come and get you, they're no longer under my control, though very protective of my fic. Read & Review to make them, and me, happy. Oh yeah, sorry for taking so long, my writers block is pulling overtime and my mind seems to hate me. Toodles from your author, Toxin


	12. Funny reactions and my luau

Chapter 12

After the feast my day toned down a bit, aside from the occasional bombardment of questions from one person or another, it was pretty calm. True, I continued to be much like my usual self, bounding around, as I said before, like the freak I am. Well a freak on lots of sugar at least. Then I joined on the snowball fight with Harry and the Weasley's. Not something I usually do, mind you, I actually really don't like snow. When I was younger I helped build a number of snow forts, and now can't resist the occasional snowball. But for the most part I prefer to stay indoors during the snowy season with a nice cup of coffee. After what the people around me called teatime I settled down to read a good book in the Griffindor common room. That is until Fred tossed me Percy's prefect badge. So I had to drop my book and run. Either that or be caught by Percy, which wouldn't have been any fun. After a bit I tossed the pin to George and returned to my book, a gift from Hermione. Couldn't you guess? Then half an hour later I returned to my room to finish my present for Dumbledore. After sending the owl with the package I returned to the common room, glomped my people good night, and went to bed. Alone. Sad life I lead, isn't it? Oh well, life isn't all it's cracked up to be. Frankly, neither is death, quite the paradox methinks. The next morning seemed somewhat more productive. Thanks to a little visit to the kitchens for a little chat with Tinkles and the other House Elves, the Griffindor table now sported a few pots of coffee. So my morning started out right. I received a thank you note from Dumbledore (can you guess what I gave him? Here's a hint: if he hadn't gotten it from me, he wouldn't have gotten one at all, and it was something he wanted) with a belated present stuck inside. From Severus I got a furious "Why-the-hell-would-you-do-something-like-that?-You'll-ruin-my career-And-just-what-the-hell-did-you-send-me?-and-for-what-reason?" kind of letter. Really, you'd think he'd enjoy the presents I'd gotten him, that and a little kiss. Who know what goes through that mans mind. After that everything went well. I continued to jump around like a maniac. Having fun as usual, which, when you think about it, is a rather unusual thing unto itself (AN: Stop me if I'm getting philosophical)

A week or two later vacation ended, which brought Hermione back gushing thanks for the book I gave her. It appears she read the whole thing between Christmas and the day she arrived (she claimed she only just finished it on the train). Going into breakfast the next morning I noticed Severus sitting at the staff table. Squealing "Hello Professor" in a singsong voice, I blew him a kiss and gave him my (much) earlier mentioned trademark finger waggle (circa 1999). I answered his glare with a very girly giggle and a hurried stage whisper to Hermione "Professor Snape is looking HOT today"

I then went on to mutter about black silk and midnight encounters involving ice cream, whipped cream and cherries. Ok, so I was being a naughty girl, so sue me, I deserved my fun. The next day, which was Saturday, I had decided several days earlier to have a Summer in January party (opposite to a Christmas in July party) so I went to Dumbledore, who said yes, and set up in the Great Hall. Palm trees replaced the tall pines of Christmas, flowers replaced icicles, and tiki torches replaced the ornate wall sconces. Sand, beach towels and the "ocean" stood in place of the tables and one wall. Also several loungers dotted the landscape joined by small tables and picnic blankets. A seaside mural spread across the three remaining, still visible, walls. The table reserved for teachers now resembled the buffet table from a cheesy tiki themed hotel dining room. A large stereo system graced one corner, with a number of speakers dotted about the room. Soon it was finished, an hour and a half before dinner. I opened wide the doors and looked behind me. Several teachers had aided me and a couple had dressed appropriately right from the start (like me). This included Dumbledore, in Bermuda shorts and a heavily flowered Hawaiian shirt, Professor Flitwick who wore khaki's, And Madam Hooch who surprisingly wore a swimsuit and sarong. I myself wore a tasteful swimsuit dotted with tiny skull and crossbones. Over that I wore a purple sarong with tribal markings wrapped round my waist. Slowly students started to trickle in. First from Griffindor, then Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff, and finally a few Syltherins. Snakes do need sunlight to keep warm. The party was in full swing, and then dinnertime came. Then the Slytherin bat of the dungeons arrived, in his teaching robes, of course. Everyone else had by this time succumbed to the sun and was wearing some sort of beach attire. Be it muumuu or sandals. He, however, stalked to the buffet that was the teachers table, sat, then glowered until the end of dinner. Having commandeered myself a lounger and small table, I waved from where I sat and called out "Enjoying yourself Professor? How about the view?"

He raised an eyebrow (something I'm jealous of), smirked, looked me up and down, then asked Professor Dumbledore "How could you allow this? All these students in this state of undress"

"that's simple Severus. This is a summer in January party. One I myself and other members of the staff have chosen to join in on. This is how people dress at the beach in summer."

Snape grumped and turned to his plate. Then I had a reason to snicker. We had decided to have a luau, so he looked down to find a large roasted pig sitting on the table in front of him, and a large haunch on his plate. The look of surprise on his face was extremely amusing. Then surprise turned into annoyance, so he waved his wand and half the haunch disappeared and was replaced by things that weren't meat. So yes, I snickered. I had to, it was funny. About half an hour after dinner I realized that since our "ocean" wasn't real, we needed somewhere to swim. So I went to the muggle studies teacher and she and I, in turn, went to Dumbledore who thought it was a great idea. So it ended with a pool almost as big as the great hall, which had a pool deck all the way around it. This included steps down to the foyer, as the pool was raised, and a slide in one corner. The stereo was moved to a different location, but the speakers stayed in place. All in all, the party moved to the pool with the exception of a few people who moved to the pool deck or around the teachers table. The party ended when one student turned another into Flipper. Pity really, I was having fun. So were a number of others. Oh well, c'est la vie. Or perhaps in my case, c'est la mort. Several days later people were still raving about the party. The person who ended up a dolphin no longer had flippers, but did sport a cheery grin. A few days after that was the quidditch match where Snape played ref. Funny how these things work. Though someone should have told Severus that spitting isn't polite. Soon after that exam preparations began. Oh joy, the hell begins. Can't you tell I hate exams? The amount of homework we had was unreal. Some nights I was clear up till midnight finishing it. But that's just because I get distracted by a book or something and end up reading or something for 20 minutes at a time. One day in the middle of April, while I was quickly striding down the hall in a black velvet dress and black pumps, with black silk gloves gracing my hands and arms up to the elbow; I nearly ran into Severus. He was coming out of his classroom and I, being the kind of person who avoids sunlight, was walking around the dungeons. I was taller than usual with the shoes I was wearing, as I had recently taken to wearing black sneakers, and my dress was quite low cut making my somewhat ample cleavage very close to his eye level.

"Hi Professor" I said "I missed you on St. Patrick's Day, and Mardi Gras. How's it hanging? How ya been? What 'cha been up to?" All the while you could tell he was trying to be stern and forbidding, but every so often you could see his eyes dart down. 'Yes Sir, I do have a nice rack' I thought, very amused. 'Just don't get yourself fired.' "Umm Sir, eyes on my face please, I know the dress is nice, but staring at it so much gets annoying."

Inwardly I was giggling like the schoolgirl I was. I really should have been getting ready for my exams, but I really wasn't in the mood to do that. What I really wanted to do was have a little fun, and maybe act like the frisky kitten I was. "So Sir, what do you really think of my dress? Is it a bit over the top? I wanted to try for a slightly casual dressy look, but may have failed."

Man, the guy looked at me like I was dense. "It's rather inappropriate for school, isn't it?" he replied, eyebrow raised, eyes still darting downward every so often. "I know sir, but the downward draft keeps me cool. Though I do seem do get goosebumps in rather awkward places. Especially down here in the dungeons. That and I feel like I'm always being watched, even when there's no portraits or anything. It feels like the walls themselves are watching me. Oh well, I'm sure it's nothing."

I spontaneously gave a little twirl and said "Hey sir, what are you up to? If you're not busy I was going for a walk, care to join me?" He looked thoughtful for a moment, which was amazing. I thought he could only look angry. "Well, I was going to do my rounds with one of the prefects, but they seemed to have come down with an illness. You can accompany me if you'd like." I thought a moment, that did turn the tables around a little bit. I was trying to find out If he liked me at all. From him asking me to go with him implied some form of like even if he was only being polite. But this way he was sort of asking if I liked him. Decisions, decisions. What to do, what to say. "Sure sir. Why not? Maybe I'll learn something." Tee hee, mind games are so much fun.


End file.
